Paula Dawn (Shirer) Lyle, age 88, of Melissa, TX passed away November 8, 2022. Paula was born March 19, 1934 in Ponca City, Oklahoma to Jean Bolden and Mildred Henrietta (Kappenburg) Shirer. She was an HR executive for many companies including Montgomery Ward and Douglas Aircraft and a member of First United Methodist Church McKinney.
She is survived by her grandson A.J. Newton and his wife Elizabeth of Melissa, TX, her grandson Michael Newton of New York City, her great-granddaughter Amelia Newton, and a host of other family members and friends.
She is preceded in death by her husband John Lewis Lyle, her daughter Tracy Dawn (Lyle) Newton, her son John Michael Lyle, her parents, and her brother J.K. Shirer.
Paula was born during the Great Depression to a well-to-do Ponca City and Tonkawa businessman who owned several furniture stores throughout the area. Her mother was a master seamstress who owned her own shop and could make any type of dress just by sight. When times were tough, her dad would double as a pool shark at the local pool halls to make extra money. She felt abundantly blessed by her upbringing from her parents. Her husband John often said that “everyone should have parents like her.” She would routinely get to eat ice cream and chocolate shakes for breakfast and loved her dad’s practical jokes. In high school she told her dad her intention to get a summer job at the Ponca City Country Club and he said “Absolutely not. You’ll have plenty of time to work. Right now you need to be a kid.” She loved her relationship with her older brother, whom she was very proud of. He was a career Air Force pilot that did several tours during Vietnam, among others.
Although Paula grew up somewhat spoiled, the era she was raised in taught her the value of toughness, hard work and discipline that she would carry with her the rest of her life. She grew up going to school in Tonkawa, OK and then moved to nearby Ponca City during high school. She continued dating her boyfriend from Tonkawa whom she had dated since 8th grade. She would later become engaged to him after graduating from high school in 1952. She enrolled in Oklahoma State University in Stillwater, OK, while her fiancé went to Kansas State.
It was at OSU where she met her husband, John. Their story is something that could be written as a movie. Paula was still engaged when they met. She was needing a ride home to Ponca City and John was from rival town Blackwell. One of her friends suggested she get in touch with John who went home every weekend to work in the coal factory to earn money. He gave her a ride to Ponca City and suggested they go see a movie. After the movie he went to drop her off at her house to her dad waiting on the front porch. John overcame this for a second date and gained the admiration of Paula’s parents. John came from a modest family, while her fiancé’s family owned an oil company. I asked her once how she knew which one to choose. She said one time she and John were at a gas station, and he was down putting air in the passenger side tire. She had the window open looking down at him and he just looked up and gave his wry, crooked grin. And she just knew. A lot of their friends said it wouldn’t work, they were married for 67 years.
Long before today’s commonplace of women empowerment, Paula, a fiery, strong-willed trendsetter set the tone for the modern woman. She was never one to mince words and would have no problem telling you exactly how she felt. She had a way of speaking in her old Southern charm that made you feel almost appreciative of any criticism. She was also ahead of the curve on lack of sleep. Her entire life she was able to get by on only 3-4 hours a night. Another well-known attribute was her affinity for Cokes. She would drink one right after the other. This all started when she was pregnant with Tracy and would get very sick. The only thing that could stop the nausea was a Coca-Cola.
John and Paula married in college and were on a strict budget. She and John had gone back to Ponca City to the bank to renew their car loan. The banker told them that interest rates had gone up and their payment was going to increase. She said we are on a budget and can’t afford one dollar more. He said he was sorry it was out of his control. She said “John, give me the keys.” He fumbled through his pocket and handed them to her. She grabbed the keys, stood up, held them as high as she could, and dropped them right on his desk and said “You are now the proud owner of a 1954 Ford.” By the time they had reached the end of the block her dad was standing outside his furniture store smiling. “Go on back to the bank. He called and said he’ll get it all worked out.”
When they first got married she didn’t know how to cook. John was showing her how to make hamburger patties. She was very grossed out by the raw ground beef. Always the jokester, John grabbed her hands and stuck them right into the bowl of ground beef. Disgusted by touching it, she grabbed some and threw it right at his face.
There are many more stories like this, I could go on and on. Like the time she threw a carton of eggs at her mother-in-law. Or when her daughter’s teacher called a meeting because Tracy was dressed too nicely at school and she thought it made all the other kids feel bad. “My mother makes her dresses. I will not change how she comes to school. And don’t ever call me up here for anything like this again.”
After graduating from OSU, John and Paula moved to Tulsa where John taught high school and coached on the football and wrestling teams and Paula worked in HR at Douglas Aircraft. A few years later a Ford recruiter stopped by one day and offered him his dream job on the spot. John, Paula, and Tracy moved to Dallas in 1964 where he started his long career as an engineer for Ford and she worked in HR for Montgomery Ward. After retiring in 1999, John and Paula moved up to Melissa to be closer to their daughter and grandchildren in McKinney.
John had a love for antique cars with his favorite being his 1930 Ford Model A. This led John and Paula to join the Dallas Model A Ford Club of which they met numerous great friends. They enjoyed going to swap meets and traveling the country with the club. A small group of them would go out to eat together every Wednesday for years and years.
Paula loved all holidays throughout the year, which she had decorations for every one of them and enjoyed putting them on display. Christmas was her favorite, which she got from her dad. Every year she would make her house look like it was straight out of the North Pole. She was extremely devoted to her family and always put her daughter and grandkids before herself. She made sure every Christmas was magical and that we always had clothes on our backs. She spent the better part of her retirement helping take care of her daughter. Coming over to do a load of laundry, clean the house, anything she could to make life easier. She never stopped being busy, she was constantly doing something productive.
For her spirted demeanor, she was also sweet and kind and caring. She told me stories of paying for strangers groceries when they got to the counter and didn’t have enough to cover the total. She would see the look on the mother’s face and the kids and felt compelled to help, “It’s ok honey, I’ve been there before. It’ll get better.” She also taught by example of how to be strong and keep persevering. She endured quite a bit of heartbreak. Her father died by a sudden heart attack when she was 26. Less than a year later her second child, a son, only lived 7 hours. She had constant migraine headaches throughout her life. In 1992, it was discovered that the cause of those was a massive brain tumor that needed surgery to be removed. Luckily it was benign, but for the rest of her life the right side of her face was paralyzed. She always felt self-conscious of her smile not being the same. We let her know we were happy she was still with us to make us smile. She later buried her daughter after an almost two decade long bout with cancer. And took care of her aging husband on her own. Through it all she always stood tall and showed grace while continuing on.
There’s something about that generation that seems missing today. Whether it’s work ethic, grit, toughness, selflessness, these traits keep getting moved to the backburner. This week, in Paula, the world lost another connection to that era and she will be deeply missed.
A visitation service is scheduled for Friday November 11, 2022 from 4-6 pm at Turrentine-Jackson-Morrow Funeral Home in McKinney. A graveside service will be held in Booneville, Arkansas on Saturday November 12, 2022.